NOT THAT SORT OF FRIEND.

I wrote this piece with a number of friends in mind.  It is an open letter to all of you.  (You know who you are.)

I'm not the sort of friend that will see you every week. 

I may not write anything on your Facebook page for your birthday. 

Almost certainly I won't send you a birthday card in the mail, although i have bought one which will sit on my desk for weeks. 

A birthday present!?  If you're lucky, but nothing big.  (Especially if you are over 30!) 

Often I don't know your other friends well, though I know you well enough to know your joy and pain.

90% of the time I will turn up for dinner with nothing .... not even wine.  I don't expect anything when you come to me either.

I will help you to celebrate the small wins, that no-one else sees.  But then I may forget you have changed jobs. 

I will think of you often and then call you at some weird time to say hi because I was thinking of you. 

I will bring you dinner if you have been in hospital with a sick child. 

I will buy you a random present because it is "so you'. 

If you have had a rough time, I won't ask "So how are you coping with <reason for rough time>?"  It's not that I don't care.  I will hug you, tell you I love you and talk about the weather.  It's your choice to mention the subject.

If you choose to talk I will listen.

I am the sort of friend that stocks up on ice cream and chocolate (and wine) when you are coming over.  And is happiest when you visit in tracksuit pants and ugg boots.

Sometimes I neglect you, and I'm sorry for that.  Sometimes my life just gets full and I don't have time or energy for others.  Know that I don't mean to.  If you need me, tell me and I'll find time.  Every time.  

It may feel like my attention is sporadic and random, but my loyalty and love are always strong because when you are my friend, you are in my heart.